Sometimes I Am Awkward Around the Other Humans: Example #3467
November 8, 2011
Boss: Who are you meeting with?
Me: It’s …
Internal Voice: Shel … Sheldon … Shelby … Shelby Who … Shelby Woooo … Shelby Woooof … Shelby Woof! Shelby Woof-Woof!
Me: Uh …
Boss: Just let me know when you know.
Internal Voice: It’s Shelby Woof-Woof!
Me: No, I know. It’s …
Internal Voice: Shelby Woof-Woof!
Me: …
Boss [shakes head disapprovingly, walks away]: Tell me later.
Internal Voice: Tell him Shelby Woof-Woof! Tell him now!
Me: Okay, I’ll let you know!
Internal Voice: He’s getting away! Shelby Woof-Woof!
Post-awkwardness fact-checking reveals the person’s first name is Pete. Last name? Not Woof-Woof. Not even close.
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9 Comments
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You’re funny! Good thing you’ve learned not to (always) listen to that internal voice, huh? ;-)
True enough. If I did, I would eat bacon every day.
Darn! WP ate my other comment!
Good thing you didn’t listen to your internal voice, could have been a little more awkward… ;-)
**Shakes head disapprovingly.**
Wow, this is ackward!
Let’s just act natural. Maybe no one will notice.
I am horrible with names. But I have never thought anyone was named Shelby Woof-Woof. Sounds like a West Coast kind of name.
I’m also horrible with names, so I sometimes do that Michael Scott mnemonic thing where he secretly names someone Moley or Lazy Eye and it leads back to their actual name. As you can see, it doesn’t always work.
I heard something about how women start to lose nouns, including names as they approach menopause. I just can’t remember where I read it.
You may be right, Sandra. I’ve always been bad with names, but it seems like the last couple of years I’ve had a harder time with them. I sometimes can’t even remember the names of famous people, and everyone knows those are the best people of all.
I prefer your brain to mine. I’m terrible at remembering names, but instead of giving me incorrect answers, my brain just sits there. I don’t even get the stereotypical sound of crickets chirping that signifies a lack of information.
Just call everyone Mulva. I’ve found you can call people the wrong name and they won’t necessarily tell you. I had a friend in law school whose wife I called Jessie for about three months before I found out her name was Jenny. She’d come pick him up at school and I’d give her an enthusiastic, “hey, Jessie! Great to see you!” and they never once said anything. Hard to say which of us was the rudest in that scenario.
Damn! Why couldn’t this have happened a few months ago? Shelby Woof-Woof would have been a much better name for my baby!
But if you had named her that, when she starts school the teachers would confuse her with all the other Shelby Woof-Woofs. Come to think of it, what is your baby’s name? Is it Oprah? My internal voice is telling me Oprah. That can’t be right.
Pete has always reminded me of Shelby Woof-Woof anyway…
Maybe you and Rick Perry can compare notes on awkward lapses in memory… :)
There’s one dad at school that I have called by his son’s name about half a dozen times. Think he has noticed?
He may have picked up on it. If he starts calling you by your son’s name, then you’ll know for sure.
In related news, I managed to get through my meeting with Pete without making dog noises at the man, so … WIN!
Mmmm… bacon.
I had turkey bacon last night for the first time. It tastes like bacon, but the lack of grease makes it kind of disappointing.