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We Sincerely Appreciate Your Thoughts and Support During Our Recent Time of Distress and Adversity

September 18, 2012

Splinter’s out.

  1. September 18, 2012 3:18 PM

    Praise Jesus! Or Juh-hee-zusss, as I like to say it. Did you ever notice that the further you get into the “Deep South”, the more syllables are in “jesus”? I’m thinking that by the time you get to Bramblebush, AL, it’s something like “Juh-huh-hee-hee-zuh-uh-huss-sss”.

    Anyway, I ramble. I also wanted to let you know that doctors DO tell men that it’s “all in your head”. I’ve also been told that my 3rd testicle is not really a problem, and that I should just “live with it”. So there’s that.

    A third testicle is a sign of great masculinity. Although in your case, it is somewhat offset by the third nipple.

    I have noticed that southerners have a tendency to add syllables to “Jesus,” at least when taking the name in vain. Also, “shit” is often pronounced, “shee-it.” Or if they’re really disgusted, “sheeeeeeee-it.”

  2. September 18, 2012 5:54 PM

    Thank you for updating! From a very selfish perspective, whenever I hear someone has a splinter, something in their eye, or something along those lines, I find myself internally twitching until they get the problem resolved. I hope your door is worth all this misery when it is finished!

    I finished the door on Sunday and … I’ve seen better-looking doors. Ha. I am unable to be happy about anything. Also, in case you need to do any painting anytime soon: Frog Tape is not worth the extra money. The regular blue masking tape is much better.

  3. Marius permalink
    September 19, 2012 3:46 AM

    I’ll just leave this here:

    That’s a meerkat living in a house! How can he afford that?

  4. September 19, 2012 2:13 PM

    I am a Georgia native and I don’t add extra syllables to Jesus or shit. But I have a relative (she’s one of those second cousins twice removed or something that I don’t completely understand but we are related somehow) and she can make my brother’s name have about 8 syllables. His name is Bill. My boyfriend is Brazilian and after she and I had a conversation once he looked at me and said, “darling, I could not understand one word that lady said.” She’s one of the sweetest ladies alive but it’s sometimes painful to get through a conversation with her. And I’m Southern and used to slow talkers with strong accents.

    My dad was from North Carolina but after living on the West Coast for most of his life, he’d lost a lot of his accent. Then he took us back to visit that side of the family and his accent came back, although I don’t think he added syllables either. And not really related, but now that I’ve mentioned the NC visit, I’m dying for barbecue and a Cheerwine.

  5. September 23, 2012 1:10 PM

    Splinter is out? Time for a prayer to Androcles.

    If only I hadn’t mauled him. In my defense, I was cranky because my finger hurt.

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